Complete Ceremony Wording

I had several readers ask me for the ceremony wording that we used.  I created the ceremony myself.  I know I've shared it in pieces throughout the ceremony recaps, but I thought it'd be helpful to share the complete version as well.  So, for those of you who don't need the entire ceremony wording, you can skip this post.  For the rest of you, here you go (Be warned, it's long!): 

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[Tara arrives at altar with her mom and dad]

Who gives this woman to be married to this man?

[Mom answers]

She gives herself freely, with the love and blessing of myself, her father, and her family and friends.

Opening Prayer
Beloved God, we are gathered here in support of Philip and Tara.  May their love for each other enrich them as individuals and let them know the peace that comes from truly being known and accepted by another.

Let us lift our hearts together as one in jubilant celebration of the marriage union we are about to witness between Philip and Tara.

As they enter into the sacred and joyous covenant of marriage, we are blessed to witness the magnificence of their love, their open hearts, and their vibrant and willing spirits.

Inspired by their love, let each of us rededicate ourselves to the loving relationships in our own lives.  May we all be enriched for having shared this day together.

Gathering Words
Welcome.  Love has gathered us here today.  We are here to celebrate the love that Philip and Tara have for each other as well as the love that each of you has given them throughout their lives.

As families and friends, you are the ones who have taught Tara and Philip how to love.  You have shown them the blessings that come through loving one another.

Having planted this seed of love in them, we are now gathered to support them as they embark upon their voyage of discovery as husband and wife.

We are here to see them off on this journey.  Let us also be there to see them through.

One of the greatest joys of the wedding day is the joining together of the couples families and friends.  Philip and Tara are filled with gratitude to each and everyone one of you for the loving, caring, friendship, and support that you have given them throughout their lives.

Being able to share their wedding day with you, surrounded by your love and support, is a treasured blessing.  Knowing that your best wishes go forward with them strengthens them as they go forth on their journey as husband and wife.

Remembrances and Acknowledgements
Today is an incredibly happy day for Philip and Tara.  It is also a very special day for Philip’s grandparents, Bill and Marie Buch.  They are celebrating their wedding anniversary this very day!  Unfortunately, due to health reasons, they are unable to be with us here today.  However, their long and happy marriage is a great example for all of us to follow.

There are many special people who are unable to be here with us today for one reason or another.  So, let us call them forward in our hearts.  The couple would especially like to remember Tara’s grandparents, Ernest and Wilma Ketcham.  While they are unable to be with us here today, they will be carried forever in our hearts.

Now we will have a moment of silent remembrance for Ernest and Wilma and all others who could not be here today.

[10 seconds of silence]

Charge for the Couple
Philip and Tara, you have made a very serious decision in choosing to marry each other today.  You are entering into a sacred covenant as life partners.

In marriage, two lives are intimately shared; and the blending of the two must not diminish either one.  Rather it should enhance the individuality of each partner.

As a marriage matures, it takes on a life of its own.  And within it, each partner is individually evolving while growing in understanding of the other.  While you are two separate individuals, you walk along one path together.  Your every gesture, word, expression, and action, and those you withhold or omit, will determine the quality of your experience together.

It is through loving, kindness, caring, and sharing that a successful marriage journey is created.  A good marriage takes patience, dedication, humor, and forgiveness.  You keep your love alive through the choices you make moment by moment, day after day, and year after year.  Through practice you learn how to love yourselves and each other with devotion and freedom.

Do you both understand and accept these responsibilities and do you promise to do your very best each day to create a loving, healthy, and happy marriage?

[Philip and Tara respond in unison] We do.

Declaration of Support
When two people come together in marriage, their families and friends are also joined together into a larger circle of caring.  From now on, you will know Philip and Tara not only as individuals, but as marriage partners, and your individual lives will be linked together as members of this community.

Please affirm your support of this marriage by responding “I do,” to the following question:  As part of the community that surrounds Philip and Tara, do you offer your love and support to strengthen their marriage and bless this family created by their union?

[Group responds in unison] I do.

Reading II: I Corinthians
Now Brandon will share a reading with us.

[Brandon reads the following]

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.  It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends.

Marriage Address
If you ask most couples who have a strong and abiding love what they like most about their partners, they will usually say that they don’t have to pretend to be anything other than what they are.  They are able to express themselves without fear of being judged or rejected.  There is room in the relationship for both of them to be unique individuals.  They are free to surrender to the possibility of profound intimacy – to be known and loved without condition.

I know that this love is what brought you both here today at this beautiful ceremony.  However, no ceremony can create your marriage.  Only you can do that through love, patience, dedication and perseverance.  Through talking and listening and trying to understand.  Through helping and supporting and believing in each other.  Through learning to forgive, learning to respect and appreciate your differences.  Through learning to make the important things matter and to let go of the rest.

Even though this ceremony does not create your marriage, what this ceremony can do is to witness and affirm the choice you have made to begin a new life today as husband and wife.

Reading II: An Apache Blessing
I would now like to invite Kamille to share a blessing with us.

[Kamille reads the following]

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other.  Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other.  Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other.  Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you.  May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years.  May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth.  Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together.  Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves.  When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong.  In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives - remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there.  And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.

Sand Ceremony
Today, this loving relationship will be symbolized through the pouring of these two individual vessels of sand. They symbolize your separate lives, separate families, and separate sets of friends. They represent all that you are and all that you’ll ever be as an individual. They also represent your lives before today.

Each one holds its own unique beauty, strength, and character. When the two are blended together they represent an entirely new and extraordinary love relationship. Each grain of sand brings to the mixture a lasting beauty that forever enriches the combination.

As these two containers of sand are poured into the third container, the individual containers of sand will no longer exist, but will be joined together as one.

[Sand is poured as song plays in background]

The life that each of you have experienced until now, individually, will hereafter be inseparably united, for the two shall become one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual vessels, so will your marriage be.

Wedding Vows
I now invite you both to share the vows you have chosen.

[Hand Philip and Tara the vow card]

I, Philip, take you Tara, to be my wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner, and my love from this day forward.  I take you with all your faults and your strengths as I offer myself to you with my faults and strengths.  I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor, cherish, and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you.  I make this promise for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, in joy as well as in sorrow, as long as we both shall live.

[Philip hands Tara the vow card]

I, Tara, take you Philip, to be my husband, my constant friend, my faithful partner, and my love from this day forward.  I take you with all your faults and your strengths as I offer myself to you with my faults and strengths.  I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor, cherish, and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you.  I make this promise for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, in joy as well as in sorrow, as long as we both shall live.

Handfasting
Tara, take Philip’s hands palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you.  These hands are young, strong and vibrant with love.  These are the hands of your best friend that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life.

Now Philip, please take Tara’s hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you.  These hands are smooth, young, and carefree.  These are the hands of your best friend that are holding yours on your wedding day, as she promises to love you all the days of her life.

Now, please join hands so that they may be fasted in the ways of old.

[Cords are held aloft]

The love already shared by your hearts has been strengthened by the vows you have taken.  You will be bound by your love as you are bound by your clasped hands from now until the end of your days.

[The couples hands are wrapped with cords and then the following is recited]

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other.

These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as you build your future together.

These are the hands that will hold you whenever illness, fear, or grief may find you.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.

These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.

These are the hands that, even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours.

[The cords are then knotted]

God, please bless these hands that you see before you this day.  May they always reach out with love, gentleness, and respect.  May they build a loving relationship that lasts a lifetime.  May they always be held by one another.

Now, you may remove the cords, but remember the knot as a lasting symbol of your binding and commitment.

[Cords are removed, stowed]

Ring Exchange
May I have the rings please? 

[Richard hands the rings to Philip who hands them to Jon]

Tara, please place this ring on Philip’s finger as you recite the words you have chosen for this occasion.

[Tara places the ring on Philip’s finger and recites the following]

Because this ring is perfectly symmetrical, it signifies the perfection of true love. As I place it on your finger, I give you all that I am and ever hope to be.

Philip, please place this ring on Tara’s finger as you recite the words you have chosen for this occasion.

[Philip places the ring on Tara’s finger and recites the following]

Because this ring has no end or beginning, it signifies the continuation of true love. As I place it on your finger, I give you all that I am and ever hope to be.

Reading III: Oh the Places You’ll Go by Doctor Seuss
Em will now share a reading with us.

[Em reads the following]

Congratulations!  Today is your day.  You’re off to Great Places!  You’re off and away! 

You have brains in your head.  You have feet in your shoes.  You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the ones who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets.  Look’em over with care.  About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”  With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.  And you may not find any you’ll want to go down.  In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town.  It’s opener there in the wide open air.  Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.

You’ll be on your way up!  You’ll be seeing great sights!  You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.  You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.  Because, sometimes, you won’t.  I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

But on you will go, though the weather be foul. On you will go, though your enemies prowl. On you will go, though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact.  And remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?  Yes! You will, indeed!  (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

Kids, you’ll move mountains!  So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!  Today is your day!  Your mountain is waiting.  So, get on your way!

Final Blessing
Philip and Tara, you have declared your intention and vows before God and this gathering of your families and friends.  May the grace of this day carry forward with you all the days of your lives.  May you find delight in each other and may your love continue to grow.

I wish you the strength to be true to the vows you have made here today.  May you always have the wisdom to cherish the precious love you share.  May you both nurture yourselves and this marriage with acceptance, understanding, cooperation and loving.  May the life you share be peaceful, healthy, and filled with blessings and joy.

As the old English blessing declares:
May your joys be as bright as the morning, your years of happiness as numerous as the stars in the heavens, and your troubles but shadows that fade in the sunlight of love.

Benediction
Beloved God, pour your grace down upon Philip and Tara that they may fulfill the vows that they have made today through their love and faithfulness to each other.  Amen.

Pronouncement
Now, it is with great pleasure that I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Philip Buch.  Philip, you may kiss your bride.

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