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Monday, January 30, 2012

The Things I Would Have Done Differently...

With all that went wrong, I honestly wish we hadn't done a wedding.  If I did have to do it over again, I would have changed a TON.  There are lots of things that didn't go as I had hoped.  Here is a list of things that I wish I would have done differently:

1.  I would have had the wedding in Indiana.  We had the wedding in Pennsylvania so that Philip's family could come which meant that a lot of my family couldn't come.  And, then a ton of Philip's family couldn't make it anyway.  And Philip's dad and stepmom left the reception early (despite them being the whole reason we had the wedding in PA).  I wish I would have done what I wanted to do originally and just had the wedding in Indiana.  Then I could've at least had most of my family there. 

Some people think that that would be selfish because then a lot of Philip's family couldn't make it.  Well, they say a picture is worth a thousand words:

That, my friends, is every single family member that I had at our wedding.  That's my dad's sister and her husband, my parents, my sister, and her boyfriend.  So, only 4 of those people are actually my blood relatives.  I know if we would have had the wedding in Indiana, at least 4 of Philip's relatives would have been able to come.  What's unfair?  Especially when you consider that I am a lot closer to my family than Philip is to his! 

2.  I wouldn't have chosen the wedding party so soon.  I let tradition guide me in choosing the ladies next to me right after we got engaged.  If I would have waited a while, I would've seen that I didn't have to choose women to stand beside me.  My sister still would have been my maid of honor, but I probably would have chosen my "big brother" Brandon and another of my guy buds to be my bride's men.  

3.  I would've made sure to express my distaste for all things pink/girly to the photographer.  I certainly made it no secret that I hated the Pepto Bysmol reception photos.  I thought that it would've been clear from the burlap and books, the creamy colors, the whole look that I went for (!) that I wasn't a pink bride.  However, I guess that it wasn't, so I wish that I would've made sure that the photographer knew not to use pink flash lighting.  And made sure that he ate dinner with us so that he wouldn't miss getting photos of the speeches!  

4. If I had to do the wedding in Pennsylvania again, I wouldn't have done it at someone's house.  It made it just too easy for people to hide in the house instead of celebrating with us in the tent.  It also left us dependent on someone else (when to break down the tent, etc.), and I hate that.  Don't get me wrong.  I am thankful that Philip's aunt and uncle opened their home to us.  I would just do it differently if I had to do over again.   

5. I would stand up for myself.  I let too many people walk over me on my wedding day.  I wish I wouldn't have been so nice.  I wish I would have said, if you can't arrive on time, you don't get photos; if people want to leave, they are welcome to do so -- the cake will be cut when it's scheduled to be cut; etc.  

6. I would remember to unbustle my train for the ceremony!  I bustled my dress for the pre-ceremony photos and the first look so that it wouldn't be in the way.  Well, when the ceremony rolled around, I completely forgot to put it down!  It's not really a big deal, but I do wish I had some photos with it down!  It really is beautiful!  

7. I would have arrived earlier than Thursday night.  We had SO much to do in basically a day and a half.  I wish we would have had more time to get everything done!  I was really stressing in the days before the wedding!  And a lot of what I had prepared didn't get used/put out (bathroom baskets, toasting flutes, etc.).   

8. I would have pushed harder to get things done on time.  Our photos were rushed because we were running behind.  Especially the first look.  Even if we were running late, I wish we would've taken our time with those.  In the end, it didn't matter that we were on time since family was late for photos anyway.   

9. I wish we wouldn't have spent so much time, money, and energy.  Yeah, it really was beautiful, but in the end, it really was just one day.  Oh well!

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