Saturday evening, Philip and I were watching Deadwood (very good show if you haven't seen it!). At the end of the show, the song Will the Circle Be Unbroken? began to play. I immediately felt tears come to my eyes.
It's not because of the song lyrics. It's because of the memory that it brings to mind. One of the clearest memories I have of my grandfather is of him clapping and singing that song. He died in 1999 when I was 13.
Because it's been so long and because I was fairly young, I don't feel the pain of his death much anymore. My grandmother (his wife), died in 2005 when I was 20. I was really close to her. I still feel a much more constant grief for her. I see so much in my everyday life that reminds me of her. I miss her terribly.
In planning the wedding, I often think of them. I wish so much that they could be a part of our day. Neither one of them ever even met Philip. Of course, I know that they would love him (as everyone else in my family does). I just want them there with me.
I know it's not fair, but sometimes I feel pangs of jealousy for Philip. He still has both sets of grandparents. I only ever had one set and they're both long gone. I love all four of Philip's grandparents. They are absolutely amazingly wonderful people. They have accepted me as their own. I love spending time with them. I just wish I had my grandparents, too.
I've been thinking lately about how to include them in our wedding day. I plan to have our celebrant say something in remembrance of them, but I'd also like to have something physical there with us the day of. The only thing I have of my grandmother's is an old family Bible. I do not want to take that with me (I don't want to take any chances with it). I don't think I have anything of my grandfather's. I need to talk with some family members to see if they have any ideas.
So, how about it, family members? Any ideas?
Tara, I know you said you didn't want to take chances with the Family Bible. Do you have it in a case? Does the Bible have the recordings of births, weddings & deaths in it, as some generations have done this in the past. Not sure if it is still done so much today.
ReplyDeleteAnyway... what if you took it up to your mom's with you when you went for your dress; and on the wedding day, they bring it with them, your mom & dad record your wedding in the Bible and present it to you during the ceremony? (even though the bible is already yours). They could say something about passing it to you and speak from the heart about how your grandparents would have been so happy.
Whatever you plan, it will be a beautiful gesture!